The 101
by frederxck
Summary: Male OC / Bellamy Blake Following the show from season 1, episode 3.
1. Pilot

**This is the story of an OC, Jonathan Canelli, an eighteen years old member of the Ark who is sent to Earth with a group of other teenagers to see if it was habitable enough for humans to survive and are promised that their crimes would be pardoned.**

 **Follow John throughout his physical and mental journey on the earth.**

* * *

 **John's POV**

I'm running through the woods after losing two lives against the unknown, following the voices of other members of my initial group -the ones I came here with- while trying not to get caught by what seems like a blind intangible enemy that feels like can only _hear_ or _feel_ us, but has no sight. It's everywhere and its almost invisible now since the sun has fully set. I keep running in the direction of the screaming hoping to at least find a familiar face if death is my destiny.  
The fog takes every breath that I make as an opportunity to get into my system and burn me from the inside, I give all of my energy to keep running to the only thing that brings me hope now… life.

* * *

We had been lost in the Woods for… maybe… two days? Or… three? Maybe it had been just a couple hours, but for us it felt like an eternity.

Pascal and Trina had it good, they had been living the "fugitive lover life" since we split up from the group minutes after the landing. We had been wondering around ever since, following Trina's instinct of orientation or, as she kept calling it, "star navigation".

I had convinced them to leave the group for one simple reason, whatever it was our destiny on the ground, right after the rest of the Ark people realized earth was survivable, they were gonna come down here and arrest us all back, even if they said otherwise. After all, that's what we all are… convicts.

I got myself into juvenile lockup almost three years ago after trying to steal an oxygen mask from medical to help my mom during a really bad asthma attack she was going thru back on the Ark. Sadly, I didn't make it and the only thing preventing me for being floated was my age, I was only fifteen back then so they put me on lockup which caused my mom to die that same day since she was left alone. It was only the two of us… my dad had died of a heart attack when I was little. I spent my days in the "box", as I liked to call the lockup cell, trying to convinced myself that it wasn't my fault, that my mom's blood was in the chancellor's hands.

Pascal, Trina and I met for the first time back up there, on the Ark. Mostly by coincidence, since it happened in one of Vera's church day meetings. Trina was really… "high spirited" as I liked to call her, and used to attend to the meetings really often. That day, she had managed to convince Pascal to go with her. I used to go from time to time only for curiosity since they kept a small tree alive on that part of the Ark as a symbol of the living Earth, and I loved looking at that little piece of life just to imagine how tree would be on earth.  
Little did I know, that one day I'd be sleeping under a gigantic one, and surrounded by many more.

I started feeling pain probably caused by the root I had been lying on for too long now, so I shifted my weight and changed position to go ahead and keep sleeping.

"Hey sleepy beauty, get up, that's a long enough nap. We should keep going" Trina gently kicked my legs to get me to get up.

"Hey, I'm up… I'm up…" I said while getting on my feet. I stretched and started walking towards no direction. "Let's just find water please, my throat is a living desert".

We started walking down the woods, the terrain was pretty uneven so that was already enough struggle for us. I started feeling a little relieved and anxious at the same time when I heard a shuddering noise coming from the sky, which according to Vera's stories, meant a rain was coming, and rain equals water, and water equals no more thirst.

"I think this is North. Come on." Trina said turning back to us after getting down a little cliff to get into some kind of dried creek canal.

"Really? Because we just came from that way, Miss I-can-navigate-with-the-stars." Pascal teased her.

"It's your fault we've been lost for two days." She started looking a little overwhelmed by the whole situation. "We never should've gone off by ourselves."

"It's okay guys let's just keep walking into a direction, we'll get somewhere eventually…" I tried to play it cool.

"John's right. Come on. We'll find the drop ship tomorrow." Pascal sat on a tree root and pulled Trina towards him.

"That's what you said last night. And I'm hungry."

"Trina, relax. We're fine." He kissed her.

"Guys…" I said after hearing the thunders come from a way that felt closer to us than it should be. "Did you feel that?"

The three of us turned around to see a curtain of fog getting closer and closer to us. But it wasn't just fog -at least not like Vera's books said it was supposed to be- this one was yellow and really thick, yet you could see light explosions going on the other side of it. Not to mention it made the air feel a hundred times heavier, it was making us struggle with breathing… like the fog was sucking the air and emanating some toxic back. And the sounds… the thunders came from inside the fog.

"What is that?" Trina whispered, making me jump and snap out of my mental analysis of the yellow fog.

We all started walking backwards while looking at it and trying to find out why we were doing it, since fog is not supposed to be a bad thing. The three of in silence, as if it could hear us and notice we were there.

"I don't know" Pascal broke the silence and stopped walking away from it. "I don't know"

I kept walking backwards in what felt like an automatic pilot mode that I had just put myself into. I keep walking and I saw Pascal and Trina stop and what seemed like a cloud of the yellow fog make a big step towards them, and all of a sudden, they were gone.

"Oh my god" I could hear them say, and for some reason I wasn't being able to distinguish their voices anymore. "I can't see! Let's get out of here."

I had to help them, but I couldn't move, I was paralyzed. When I looked away from the fog, I realized that I was far away now, the fog seemed to be static as if it was already satisfied with catching my friends and all I could see was yellow and black. Pitch back.

"Oh my god it burns!"

Trina. I was sure of it. But I was also sure that if I had tried to play hero and help them, I would be probably dead by now. So I ran, I ran as fast as I could, ignoring my watering eyes and what felt like a tie in my throat caused by the anguish of losing my friends. **Guilty.**

I kept running for my life and I heard a new voice screaming horrified, probably someone who had been reached by the fog. I turned that way and kept running, whoever it was, it had to be someone from the group and that would probably lead me to them, so I took my chance.

"Bellamy!"

I stopped running. Bellamy? Bellamy Blake? **Well it's your lucky day huh.** Shut up.

"Bellamy!" It came again, but this time it sounded more desperate.

I cut the chatting with my own head and started going that way. I wasn't sure why, after all whoever it was, was in agony and probably suffering the burnings of the fog. But anything would be better than being alone so I headed that way.

* * *

I'm closer to it now but I choose to ignore the screaming when I see the entry of a cave, and since the fog is almost on me, I don't take the time to think about it twice. I run inside with my last breath feeling the fog getting in my eyes and lungs and falling on my knees to the hard floor of the cave. I'm about the let the exhaustion get me and pass out when I hear it… someone's in the cave, I can hear movement, there's someone in there.

I try get to the bottom of the cave, I'm -really heavily- heavy breathing by now. **And scared to death.** I've no time for this now.  
I choose to ignore my annoying alter ego and try to peek around the rock I'm hiding behind.

"NO!" a girl.  
I gasp in horror and jump back terrified, hitting my head against a rock coming out of one of the cave's walls.

"Charlotte, wake up"

"I'm sorry"

"Sh… hold on"

I recognize the first voice but I'm too dizzy after hitting my head and I lose the control of my eyes. Then my audition. Then I'm out. Pitch black.

"Jonathan?!"

* * *

 **Notes  
**

This is it for the first ch. let me know what you think! x  
Also! I wanna give full credit to my beloved friend Abigail for inspiring me to write this and for teaching me lots of things about writing! x Love you.  
She is the best writer ever! You can check out her stories, her profile here is **"thewalkerinme".**


	2. Earth kills

**John's POV**

The back of my head hurts and the pain comes in waves, it's progressive, each wave hurting more than other.

I open my eyes and all I see is black. Maybe I'm not awake – still dreaming. I narrow my eyes trying to adjust to the darkness and I manage to realize I'm facing a stone wall, that's when my memories of being inside the cave come back to me, hitting something with my head and passing out.

"Slay your demons, kid. Then you'll be able to sleep."

Bellamy? I snap out of my semi-unconscious delirium and move, changing my position so now I'm looking at the cave's ceiling.

"Demons? Am I in hell already?" I say, joking confidently, probably due to not being fully conscious yet. I rub my eyes.

I can see better now, and I see Bellamy sitting next to me. I also notice a little girl whose name, I believe, is Charlotte. For a second I wonder what a kid that young could have done to end up in lockup, and then I realize I'm staring too much so I look down and try to get up, but Bellamy grabs my arm before I can even stretch my legs.

"Wait, don't," he warns. I lose balance and he yanks me back down again. "You're wounded and the fog's still outside, there's nowhere to go yet. Sit down," he says.

I frown, expecting him to apologize but… who am I kidding? Bellamy's not the kind of guy who would apologize for being tough. After all, his bossy attitude after landing was one of the things that made us leave camp.

"Were you with Pascal and Trina?" he asks, staring right into my eyes. "We've been looking for you all day, why did you leave?"

I remain silent and look away the moment he mentions Pascal and Trina; I can't help but feel guilty about them dying.

"Are they…"

"…ye-mh..." is all I can manage to say.

"I'm sorry…" he says while giving me a - _too tough for the situation-_ pat on the shoulder. "Get some sleep," he adds, "we'll get back to camp tomorrow."

I lay back on the cave's wall and look at Charlotte, who's long asleep by now. I freeze when I notice the knife in her hand, not so many children sleep with a knife as a teddy bear.

I frown and look back at Bellamy. "What's up with the knife?"

"It's okay she was… never mind, it's just okay," he says and closes his eyes while lying on the wall, just like me.

* * *

Light. I can see light from the inside of the cave so I get up and go to its entrance. Bellamy and Charlotte are there, for a second I'd forgotten I'm not alone in the cave.

"Anybody out here?" I hear Bellamy shout.

"Hey," I say while coming out of the cave and I pat Charlotte's shoulder and look at Bellamy.

Bellamy moves to a side so he's not giving me his back anymore; his way of saying hello, I guess.

"Jones!" He goes again.

"We're here!" someone answers into the woods.

Bellamy starts walking in the direction of the screaming and looks back to us to follow him.  
We walk until we meet with a group of other three people from the camp.

"I lost sight of you. Where'd you go?" he asks them.

"We made it to a cave down there," one of the guys says.

"What was that?" adds another one.

"I don't know. Where's Atom?" Bellamy says, looking past the group we had just met.

After realizing Atom didn't make it to any safe place, they decide to go looking for him, splitting up to cover more terrain but still able to see each other.

I'm walking with Bellamy and Charlotte. For some reason I get a bad feeling about Charlotte, not like I'm scared of her or anything, I'm just not getting good vibes from her, maybe she doesn't like me of maybe I'm just overacting as usual.

When she is left behind, after getting distracted by some kind of bird, I find myself walking next to Bellamy and I'm pretty determined to start a conversation. By now I have gone through what felt like a hundred possible ice breakers and I'm finally gonna say something when I hear Charlotte screaming in horror.

Bellamy and I run back to her and we see the reason she's screaming. Atom.

"You son a bitch. Atom!" Bellamy shouts before running to him.

I move closer to them and I can tell Atom's whispering something I can't understand. When I'm finally there I notice he looks like he's chocking and in total pain. He has burning wounds and blisters all over the visible parts of his body, face and eyes.

Bellamy stands up when he hears the rest of the group arriving and standing back with Charlotte. She comes closer, looking at Atom with a blank expression and cold eyes. She reaches for something inside her pockets.

"I... can't…. Br… breathe," Atom says.

Charlotte takes her knife out of her pockets and hands it to Bellamy.

"Don't be afraid," she says.

"Go back to camp," Bellamy looks at the rest of the group. "Charlotte, you too," he adds.

"Bellamy are you sure?" I say, looking back at Atom.

"Kill… me," Atom says. I look away. "Bellamy, please."

I stand up and attempt to get back so I give Bellamy space to make his decision. When I turn around I see Clarke looking at Atom, as shocked as we all first were.

"Clarke," the words come out of my mouth in a gasp.

Clarke looks at me and then back to Bellamy while she comes closer to us.

"I heard screaming," she says, breathing heavily.

"Charlotte found him. I sent her back to camp," Bellamy says, still with a blank expression on his face.

Clarke looks at Bellamy and us and we both get what she's trying to say; he's no gonna make it and there's nothing we could do apart from ending the suffering.

"Okay," she says. "I'm gonna help you, alright?" Clarke is smiling, trying to somehow make it look less tragic than it already is. She grabs her knife and starts humming a song.

I look at Bellamy. He was looking at me, and then we're just looking at each other. He purses his lips and nods, allowing me to leave and not look at anything while it is all done and taken care of.

* * *

We arrive at the camp at night. To be honest I'm happy to be back, at least I'm not a third wheel here.

"We've gotta get to Jasper, I'll need boiled water to make the medicine," Clarke tells Bellamy once we're inside.

"Get Clarke whatever she needs," Bellamy says.

I get lost looking at what they've done here. They have people working on getting food and water and barriers and tents… the camp's pretty well organized.

People start creating a circle around Atom's body. I'm out of it, having left the group and now walking around the camp. For some reason silence invades the camp, everyone calm. Something is going on inside the circle of people but I can't see what it is.

"There's nothing I could do," Bellamy breaks the silence.

"Don't."

I can recognize the last voice as Octavia, Bellamy's sister, but I still don't know what's going on. Everyone's silent again when I see Octavia break the circle, coming out of it and right into the drop ship, and I assume she just found out about Atom and that maybe they were close.

The circle of people starts separating and I'm heading inside the Ship when I hear someone burst out in rage.

"My what?! MY WHAT?!"

It's Bellamy, so I start getting back into the crowd to see what's going on and when I get to the other side I see Bellamy and John Murphy facing each other real close… and not in a remotely good way, at all.

"Nothing," Murphy says with a dead stare on his face. "Sorry".

Bellamy starts walking back with an even more defiant look, and turns back to face the crowd. "Get him outta here," he commands to a group of people while pointing at Atom's body, then turns to give one last glare at Murphy as he walk past him.

I decide to follow him. He doesn't notice, heading inside his tent. For a second a think about turning back, I wouldn't like Bellamy going full bossy on me. I hate when people tell me what to do, that's probably a bad habit.

 **Don't. Go in that tent you chicken.** I can wait for tomorrow, plus, I just don't wanna bother him. **FOR GODS SAKE JUST GET IN THAT TENT, JONATHAN.**

I start feeling pressure on my chest and I realize that, for some reason, I'm holding my breath, so I take a deep breath of air and get inside the tent with one big step.

"Knock knock..."

 **Knock knock? Oh god you're so lame.** Fuck the hell off, ok?

"Do you need something?" Bellamy says, confused.

"I um, well I kinda like… I noticed you're basically the one in charge here so I just. Um, I don't have a tent so probably you have a spare one?" I bite my tongue before word vomiting on him.

He smiles at my awkwardness -I can't really tell if that's a good or bad thing- and starts looking around as if he's lost something.

"Fine," he says putting his hands up. "You can sleep here, I'll sleep in the drop ship tonight and we'll set a tent up tomorrow," he adds walking towards me and patting my shoulder as he walks past me.

So I'm left alone in Bellamy's tent, and I just head to sleep while I try to decide if it's all in my head or that pat on the shoulder lasted a little more than it should have lasted, and meant more than it should have meant. Was it on purpose? Was he aware of that? Because after that I was totally stunned. You see? that's the thing about guys like Bellamy, you can never tell…. Never.

* * *

 **Notes:**

I'd like to clarify what Jonathan looks like since I haven't written about his physical appearance and I don't think I will, at least specifically.  
In my head I picture Jonathan with Nick Robinson's aspect. He's on the story's cover photo.

Ok now, I hope you're liking it so far! x Happy reading!  
ps: Feedback is more than welcomed!


	3. Murphy's Law

**Jonh's POV**

It's been a week since I got back to camp. I've spent a lot of my time with Monty Green and Jasper Jordan, they've been showing me around and updating me with everybody's function in the camp and other random news.  
Jasper, to be specific, has been insisting on telling me how he got speared by a grounder before being kidnapped by it and emphasizing over and over the fact that we're not alone down here.  
Octavia and Monty have been trying to convince him to get back outside camp, since he has been afraid of going outside the walls after that.

Wells Jaha was killed by a grounder this week, nobody saw anything, they just found him out in the woods with a knife wound in his neck and two missing fingers. Nobody was particularly moved by his death, except from Clarke –who I understand was his friend– after all his father is the main reason why we all were in lockup up on the ark and down here now even though I'm not really sure being down here is a bad thing… but I believe you get my point.

Monty and Clarke have been working in a way of somehow transforming our wristbands into a radio or something we can use to contact the ark. Bellamy, on the other hand, has been convincing and sometimes even forcing people to take them off as a way to free ourselves from the Ark and rebel against the Council. I get his point, we're all convicts and I still believe they won't let us free just like that if they ever get down here.

Monty took mine off two days ago to try and do his magic turning it into whatever it was in his head, but it didn't work, the wristband broke due to the pressure he inflicted with the sharp tool he was using to take it off and I just ended up with a broken, useless wristband and a wound on my wrist. Monty apologized about over a hundred times.

* * *

I'm in the dropship with Monty and he's trying to explain to me how the wristband could transform into a Morse code working radio for the fifth time when Clarke and Finn come inside. Clarke has an odd look on her face, like she just came up with a brilliant maleficent plan.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Finn says.

"This is the only way to make her feel what I felt," Clarke looks at both me and Monty and greets us with a grin. "Monty, I need you to take my wristband off, if you do it carefully enough we can still use this to contact the Ark."

"Say no more," Monty says while grabbing a handmade stick with sharp tip similar to the one he used to take mine off.

While they get to it I stand up and go next to Finn.  
Finn and I know each other from the Ark, I met him through Raven, one of my very best friends from the Ark who I've known almost all my life, she lived next door and I've always considered her part of my family.  
For Raven, Finn was just the boy next door, who she used to spend more time with apart from me. Throughout the years, the two grew closer and at some point, they started a romantic relationship and the three of us became really good friends.

"So… how did you convince her to do this?" I whisper to him.

"Actually I didn't, it was her decision," he says while crossing his arms and grinning at me.

We hear a loud metallic crushing sound and I look back at Clarke and Monty, expecting to see what in my head looks like a bloodbath, but instead, I see Monty with the opened wristband in his hands and a look of success on his face.

"Yes! I did it," he says while looking up at Clarke. "And it's still operational," he adds and stands up to get to work on it, looking like a spoiled kid who just got a new toy to play with.

Clarke gets up too and comes to us, holding her sore wrist with one hand.

"What?! Monty needed a working wristband," she says, trying to excuse her after realizing Finn's giving her a look.

"And you needed to punish your mother," Finn answers and I find myself with a confuse look on my face trying to put all the pieces of this puzzle together.

"Look, they're running out of air," Clarke says. "And we need their help… my mother thinking I'm dead is only temporary."

Yep, I'm definitely lost here. I know the wristbands transmit vital signs to the Ark, that way they know if we're still alive, but what does Finn mean by _'punishing your mother'_?  
I think about asking what's exactly going on, but I just decide I'll interrogate Finn later.

"Not if I can pass it through the dropship mainframe," Monty says from his working area and looks back at us. "I can do it… we'll be talking to the Ark by nightfall," he adds.

Clarke smiles and leaves the dropship giving me and Finn a final glance of satisfaction.

"So…?" I whisper at Finn, giving him a I-know-you-know look.

"Don't you have something to go do, John?" Finn says, joking provocatively.

"Go get floated, Finn," I say and head out of the dropship, deciding I'll go take a walk outside the camp.

When I'm right out of the camp's side door I get surprised by Octavia and Jasper, and I smile at them when they make eye contact with me, but my smile drops when I realize they're agitated for some reason.

"Jasper, it's really not that bad out here, nothing is gonna happen to you," I say, frowning at him.

"There's nothing to be afraid o-" Octavia starts saying, but she stops when Jasper steps on a tree root coming out of the ground and falls.

"Wow," I say, and I get closer to them to help Jasper get up. When I get there, I crouch down and I'm about to help him up when I look at his face and realize something's wrong, he's looking at something on the ground with a terrified look on his face, so I look in the direction where his eyes are pointing.

"Oh my god," Octavia says and I look back at her to see she's also down on the ground with us now. I try to find out what it is that they're looking at because I can't see it.

Jaspers slowly moves backwards while still on the ground as if the thing he's looking at would jump on him. Then I see it… and I paralyze too.

"Are those…" Jaspers says

"I'm… gonna throw up," I say, struggling to keep my last meal in my stomach.

In a snap of an eye the three of us are on our feet, my brain connects all the dots together and I can't stop looking at the knife and the fingers… Wells' fingers.

* * *

 **Bellamy's POV**

We're in Jasper's tent. O, Jasper and Jonathan found some kind of knife and what seem to be two fingers belonging to Wells Jaha. Apparently we were wrong, Wells wasn't killed by a grounder.

The five of us, Clarke, Jasper, O, Jonathan and I are looking at the fingers and the knife as if we'll be able to read the answer of who did it written on it if we stare for long enough.

Clarke leans on the table and picks up the knife. "This knife was made of metal from the dropship," she says. And she's right, the knife is actually a metallic bar from the dropship that has been folded in two to create a handle and then sharpened on the other end.

"What do you mean?" Jasper says opening his eyes more than any person should be able to.

"Who else knows about this?" I cut him off.

"No one, we brought it straight here," O says, looking back at the fingers and then up at me.

"Clarke?"

"It means the grounders didn't kill Wells," Clarke says, looking at every one of us one after the other. "It was one of us," she adds, with what seems to be a mixture of horror and anger on her face.

I look at Jonathan and I notice he's still looking at the fingers; he has been doing in since we all got inside the tent. He's bracing himself with his left arm and the other one is up, covering his mouth while resting its elbow on the left hand.  
I take a second to study his expression, there's something odd about him, I can't read him like I usually am able to do with other people… I can't tell if he's calm and thinking his next move or if he's just horrified and trying not to throw up.

"So there's a murderer in the camp?" Jasper says.

Jonathan breaks his posture, letting his arms fall down and pulls his eyebrows up when Jasper speaks.

"There's more than one murderer in this camp," I say, answering Jasper but also trying to calm Jonathan's expression. "This isn't news. We keep it quiet," I add, crossing my arms, but undoing it when Clarke attempts to get out of the tent, which for some reason I find offensive so I get in her way.

"Get out of my way, Bellamy."

"Look there's more about this. Look what we've achieved, the walls, patrols… like it or not, thinking the grounders killed Wells is good for us."

"Oh good for you, you mean!" she says. "What? Keep people afraid and they'll work for you? Is that it?"

"Yes, that's it," I reply. "But it's good for all of us… fear of the grounder is building that wall. Besides, what're you gonna do? Just walk out and ask the killer to step forward? You don't even know whose knife that is," I say and I glance at Jonathan for one second, he's crossing his arms and listening to the conversation with a serious look on his face, as if trying to decide whose side he is on. I look back at Clarke when I notice she's about to speak again.

"Oh, really?" she says with a really confident look on her face, she picks up the knife and shows it to me "J.M … John Murphy." Pointing to the letters engraved on the inside of the knife's handle. "The people have the right to now," she adds and walks right past me and out of the tent.

"She's right," Jonathan says, looking down when I look at him and going ahead and leaving the tent with Jasper. I'm not sure if it's real or just inside my head, but when he passes next to me I believe I hear him whispering, "I'm sorry."

* * *

 **John's POV**

I head outside the tent and the first I see is Clarke confronting Murphy.

"You son of a bitch!" she yells at him while hitting both of his shoulders. A group of people make a circle around them.

"What's your problem?" Murphy says with a sarcastic laugh.

"Recognize this?" She says while pulling the knife up.

I'm now next to Octavia and Jasper inside the circle, none of us saying a word.

"That's my knife, where'd you find it?" Murphy says and attempts to take the knife, but Clarke moves away.

"Where you dropped it after you killed Wells!"

"Where what?" he says looking -in my opinion- genuinely confused.

I look at Octavia and Jasper to see if I'm the only one getting that feeling but they all seem to be pretty sure Clarke's right, even Bellamy, who I notice is now standing with us.

"The grounders killed Wells, not me," Murphy adds.

"I know what you did, and you're gonna pay for it."

"Really…?" He looks away from Clarke. "Bellamy, you really believe this crap?"

Every looks back at us, but none of us say a word, not even Bellamy.

"You threatened to kill him, we all heard you!" Clarke brakes the silence again. "You hated Wells."

"Plenty of people hated Wells..." Murphy says. "His father was the chancellor that locked us up!"

"Yeah, but you're the one who got in a knife fight with him."

"Yeah I didn't kill him then either."

Then I notice Octavia is looking at me, but when I turn to face her I notice she's actually looking at Jasper and when I'm about to turn his way, she speaks.

"Yeah, he tried to kill Jasper too!"

Murphy laughs, "Come on guys this is ridiculous, I don't have to answer to you," he says. "I don't have to answer to anyone!" he adds, but this time on a higher tone and moving away from Clarke.

"Come again?"

I turn to face in the direction of the voice and see Bellamy, arms crossed, looking at Murphy who's no longer in front of Clarke. Everybody's looking our way now.

"Bellamy," he says, and starts walking towards us. "Look, I'm telling you man, I didn't do this," he says, lowering his voice.

"They found his fingers of the ground with your knife," Bellamy says, almost whispering.

"Is this the kind of society that we want?" Clarke starts talking. "You say there should be no rules, does that mean we can start killing each other without… without punishment?"

"Look, I told you I didn't kill anyone," Murphy defends himself.

"I say we float'im," Connor says from the crowd and others start agreeing.

"That's not what I'm saying," Clarke says, trying to calm the agitated crowd.

I look at Octavia with a disapproving look and she passes it to Bellamy who is now looking at us.

"Float him! float him! float him!" Everybody starts yelling, and in a second, Murphy is lying on the ground being kicked by everyone.

"No! Get off him," someone I can't see from outside the crowd says, but I recognize as Clarke.

"Bellamy stop it!" I say and start heading inside the crowd followed by Octavia. But someone pulls us both out, Bellamy.

When he lets us go, the crowd starts moving outside the camp, they got Murphy but I can't see what's happening. We head out and freeze when we see the group hanging Murphy to a tree by his neck, his hands tied and a gag in his mouth.

"Bellamy, this is insane; we're not savages," I say, yelling at him and turning around to look for someone to agree with me. I see Clarke coming.

"You can stop this!" Clarke says, lunging at him. "They listen to you," her voice cracks.

Bellamy has a blank expression on his face, people start yelling his name, encouraging him to give the order to let him hang to death.

I look from Octavia to Clarke, to Jasper and back at Bellamy, again and again, trying to thinks of something clever to say that would make Bellamy take the right decision.

"I saw you in the woods with Atom, I know you're not a killer," I say to him, grabbing him by his shoulder trying to get his full attention. He looks at me and then turns to Murphy.

"Bellamy don't do this!" Clarke says, a mixture of anger and distress in her voice.

"BELL-A-MY! BELL-A-MY! BALL-A-MY!"

Bellamy gives us one final glare and starts heading to Murphy, I'm in shock for his decision and Clarke follows him, insisting to stop. He pushes her away.

"BELL-A-MY! BELL-A-MY! BALL-A-MY!"

I can see Bellamy's eyes and I feel my entire body filled with anger and disappointment, the next thing I hear is Bellamy kicking the piece of wood where Murphy's standing. He falls. He's chocking to death.

I try to get to him but someone grabs my arm avoiding me to move forward. Clarke's crying, horrified, and Bellamy turns back to us.

"This is on you princess!" He says, looking at her and glaring at me right after. "You should have kept your mouth shut!"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!" We all turn. It's Finn, he tries to cut the rope that is causing Murphy to die, but Connor gets him and points a knife at him. "GET OUT OF MY WAY," Finn says trying to get him off him.

"Connor get away from him!" I say and I'm about to get on him to help Finn when the whole group turns to someone yelling at us.

"STOP, OKAY?! MURPHY DIDN'T KILL WELLS, I DID IT!" Charlotte.

Everybody goes silent.

I turn around and take Bellamy's axe off his belt. "Clarke!" I call.

I throw the axe to her and right after catching it she gets to the rope and cuts it, making Murphy fall to the ground.

Bellamy's devastated, he knows he took a rushed decision being influenced by others and he was wrong. I look at him and I see him looking at Charlotte. Then it hits me, he caused this, he encouraged her to do this, to _slay her demons._

* * *

Bellamy, Clarke, Finn and Charlotte are inside one of the tents discussing about what happened. Outside, everyone else now lead by – the angriest Murphy I've ever seen– Murphy, are waiting for them to basically turn Charlotte over and 'Make justice' the same way they were doing with him.

"Bring the girl out, Bellamy!" Murphy yells.

I'm with Octavia, Jasper and Monty now. I personally decided to stay out of this one, I don't want to find myself telling everybody 'I told you so' about Charlotte… after all, the only one I told how I felt about the girl was Finn and I'm not sure he was even paying attention to me since I did it while we were out in the woods looking for 'Something to draw with' a couple days ago. Plus, I'm almost sure they're talking about the _slaying your demons_ metaphor that girl took too literally.

"And you wanna build a society, princess?" Murphy yells again. "Let's build a society, take her out!"

A couple seconds after, Bellamy comes out.

"Well, look who decided to join us," Murphy says while walking towards him.

"Back off," Is all Bellamy says.

"Or what? What are you gonna do Bellamy? Hang me?"

"I was just giving the people what they wanted."

"Yeah that's a good idea, why don't we do that right now?" Murphy says with a sarcastic and defiant attitude. He turns around and walks to the rest of us. "So who here wants to see the real murderer hang up?" he says while raising his hand.

When I turn to look at the rest of the crowd I take a last glance at the tent where they are keeping Charlotte and I realize the shadows I could see before are no longer there, the tent is empty. So I sneak out of the group and get into the forest without anyone noticing. I stop walking when I hear Murphy yelling something I can't really understand, but I give up trying to figure it out and continue to follow the trails until I get closer to Clarke, Finn and Charlotte and I prove myself right… they're taking her out of here.

I decide to follow them but don't let them see me, and that's what I do for a while. I can hear Clarke telling Charlotte what she did was wrong, going a little harsh on her, but I don't feel bad, I don't like the girl, I'm sorry. **You're soulless Jonathan.**

"CHARLOTTE!... CLARKE AND FINN CAN'T SAVE YOU!"

It's Murphy, I decide to go out now and help Clarke and Finn protect Charlotte and take them out of their actual location, or Bellamy and the others are gonna find them.

I get out of the trees and I can tell I scare the crap out of them, I apologize with a grin and walk right past Finn, looking at Clarke.

"They're coming this way, let's go," I say as I point to my previous location.

"We need to run," Clarke says, and starts following me, but when I'm about to walk pass next to Finn, he grabs my arm.

"Yeah that's a good way to go… I like my plan better," he says and squats and opens what seems to be a hatch on the ground. "Get in."

I don't ask and get inside, all of us do.  
This new place feels like what I imagine being inside a submarine would be, I remember my mom telling me stories of how submarines could get real deep into the water and navigate for long periods of time without running out of oxygen, kinda like an aquatic Ark… but this has no windows and feels lifeless.

When the excitement of the new discovery is over, we get Charlotte in one of the beds in this place and get her to sleep and relax for a while until we think what to do next.

I'm going around the tiny place looking at everything, it fascinates me how everything on earth is, the packaging of food, pictures, books, magazines… it's all so different down here.  
While I wander around, I can hear Finn and Clarke talking but I decide not to get in that conversation since I'm more interested on my earth-items research.

When I'm done touching everything in the 'bunker' as Finn called it minutes ago, and I'm finally up to a conversation, I realize Finn and Clarke are asleep, so I decide to jump into one of the free beds and I zone out faster than I thought I would.

"Fin, John wake up!" Clark says.

I get up and almost fall out the bed, for a second I forget I'm in a bunk bed.  
I see Clarke coming to check the bed under mine and I take a look. "Holy shit"

"She's gone," Clark says.

It takes us only about ten seconds to get out of there and we start looking for Charlotte, we can hear Murphy is still around looking for her and we find trails so we follow them.

"NO! MURPHY!" we hear Charlotte.

"Murphy has her," Clarke says and we start running that way.

When we find them we see Bellamy has Charlotte and they're standing next to a big cliff, Murphy and four other guys are holding torches and surrounding them.

"Bellamy! Stop!" Clarke says and turns back to Murphy. "This's gone too far, let's calm down and talk about this."

It all goes silent. I go stand next to Clarke and for a second I think Murphy might be considering it but then, in a blink of an eye, Murphy takes me and puts a knife on my throat. I try to get him off me but Murphy gets the knife closer to me the second I move. I start feeling dizzy and my now healed head wound starts beating for some reason.

"I'm sick of listening to you tal-" he starts saying to Clarke but Finn cuts him off

"Let him go!" Clarke and Finn say in unison

"I WILL SLIT HIS THROAT!" Murphy says while pointing at them with his free hand and walking backwards.

"Please don't hurt him!" Charlotte says.

"Don't hurt him?" Murphy turns to her, with the knife still on my throat. "Ok, I'll make you a deal, you come here and I'll let him go."

When Charlotte tries to get closer, Bellamy gets her.

"NO! Let me! I have to!" she fights.

"Don't, Charlotte," I hiss, my breathing accelerates due to my anger.

"Murphy, this won't happen," Bellamy speaks, and when I look at him I realize how tense he looks.

"I can't let any of you get hurt anymore… not because of me, not after what I did," Charlotte says, and all the eyes are on her. Her stare drops and with a quick move, she gets out of Bellamy's arms and turns to jump off the cliff.

"NO!" Clarke yells and runs to the edge of the cliff. "NO! no, no…!"

I try to yell but nothing comes out of my mouth. Murphy lets me go and I fall on my knees, I can't look at the cliff, I can't look at any one, so I just look down until I feel someone grabbing my shoulder, its Finn, he's helping me get up.

All of a sudden Bellamy is on Murphy and they fall to the ground, Bellamy's hitting the living hell out of him.

"Bellamy stop! Stop it you'll kill him!" Clarke says and all I do it watch it happen with Finn next to me, but then he goes and takes Bellamy away from Murphy.

"Get off me! He deserves to die!"

"NO! We don't decide who lives and who dies, not down here!"

"So help me god, if you say the people have the right to decid-"

"NO! I know! I was wrong before, ok?" Clark says. "You were right, sometimes it is dangerous to tell people the truth, but if we're gonna survive down here, we can't just live by 'whatever the hell we want', we need rules!"

"And who makes those rules? Hugh? You?"

"For now we make the rules, ok? Clarke says turning around and looking at us all.

"So what then?" Bellamy answers. "We just take him back and pretend like that never happen?"

"NO!" Clarke says, turning around to look at Murphy. "We vanish him".

Bellamy glares at me and Finn and then gets to Murphy who is still lying on the ground semi unconscious and gets him up.

"Get up" He says and takes him to the edge of the cliff.

"BELLAMY! STOP!" Clark says and she and I go ahead to stop Bellamy from whatever it is he's attempting.

"If I ever get you near camp, we'll be back here, understand?" Bellamy says, and I can see Murphy nodding in a deadly way. He drops Murphy to the ground and faces the other ones with the torches.

"As for the four of you, you can come back and follow me, or go off with him to die," he says while staring at them. "Your choice". Then he's staring at me, he looks at me from head to toe as if he's analyzing me.

"You alright?" he asks. And I nod, not being able to get a single word out of my mouth.

Then he leaves and Clarke goes after him, so do all of us including the guys supporting Murphy, and we head back to camp. Once we get there, Bellamy and Clarke decide to get the camp together and communicate what happened with Murphy and how thing are going to be from now on. After that, everyone starts getting to their tents or around camp but we all just stand there next to the fire, Bellamy, Clarke, Octavia, Monty, Jasper, Finn and I, in that order.

Monty suggests to try the wristbands communication system all together since he already has it sorted out.

"You guys go ahead; I'll be right there in a minute," I say, for no particular reason, I just feel like staring at the fire for a little longer.

So they all get into the dropship except for Finn who is looking from the outside and…

"You don't wanna see if it works?" Bellamy says, and I notice he's still sitting here next to me.

"Not really, I don't even know if that'd be a positive thing," I say with my eyes still on the fire.

"Hey, are you alright?" He says pointing at my throat and narrowing his eyebrows.

I touch my throat and blood come off of it, it doesn't hurt so that's when I first notice the superficial cut.

"Must have been Murphy's knife, its ok," I say, this time looking at him and I notice his expression changes when I name Murphy.

"Here, let me..." he says and pulls a piece of fabric out of his pocket, then cleans the blood off my wound. "I'm sorry for today," he talks again while looking at me, with one hand cleaning the wound and the other one holding the back of my neck.

"It's okay," I smile, "we all make bad decision under pressure, I know you're not a bad guy."

He answers with a grin and we just stay there looking at the fire and exchanging a glare from time to time until I see Finn running out of the dropship and into the woods.

I stand up, thinking about going after him but I stop when I see Clarke following him after a couple seconds. I look down and see Bellamy's still sitting down here next to the fire and I'm about to sit back down when Octavia comes out of the dropship and comes to sit with us.

"The wristbands are all fried, it didn't work," She says, and I sit down.

None of us say a word. We stay there until we get tired enough and one by one, we start leaving to go to our tents.

* * *

 **Notes:**

Hope you enjoyed reading x  
Let me know what you think so far! xoxo

ps. You can find me on tumblr as **'train-wreck101'**

 **Preview:** **A Escape Pod is launched to earth. Bellamy is gonna have to take decisions... is Jonathan gonna agree with him?**


	4. Twilight's Last Gleaming

**John's POV**

I'm awake... or at least, I'm conscious. I feel like I've been awake the whole night, not being able to make my mind blank and silence my thoughts. Visualizing in my head all what happened since we got here over and over again. Pascal and Trina's death, the acid fog, being back in camp, Charlotte and all the Murphy situation… Bellamy… last night.  
At some point, I'm not sure if I've been awake, or in that sort of trance you're the moment before falling fully asleep… when you're not either here or there, just in the middle of the hallway between the dream world and the real world.

I jump out of bed when I hear Octavia's voice calling for Bellamy, I feel knocked out and that's when I realize that I was, in fact, asleep. But I don't feel rested at all.

"Bellamy, get out here!"

I put my shirt on as fast as I can and I get out of my tent, finding a group of people reunited in the middle of the camp next to the fire that is still on from last night.

"There" Octavia talks again. I move my eyes on her direction but something gets my attention.

I see Bellamy come out of his tent and get in front of the semicircle of people. He's shirtless and for some reason I stop in my tracks and give an eye-roll to my own dirty mind.

 **Holly molly.** Oh god shut up.

When I'm done talking to myself inside my head, I go stand next to Octavia and I can't help but take a better look of shirtless Bellamy.

"They're coming to help us" Someone says forcing me to snap out of my mental paradise.

I finally look up to see what everybody is looking at and I see something falling from the sky, a shooting star is the first thing I think of and I get lost in that thought for a second. I look back again and this time I consider what that person from inside the crowd said. **It's another dropship, they're coming down…** but, are they coming to help us?

"Now we can kick some grounder ass" I hear, from the crowd again.

"Please tell me they brought down some shampoo"

I smile at that comment but my smile drops when I turn to see who said that and I see two girls whose names I don't know. They're standing next to Bellamy, covering their bodies with his blankets.

I feel my cheeks turn to fire, the back of my head starts beating and I get shivers all over my body, I'm angry. That's what I feel when I'm angry and that's exactly how I feel right now.  
Why is he such a mind twisting asshole? Why do I feel this way about him and why do I keep thinking I have a chance at all? I zone out for a second and I decide I'm not up for this kind of situations right now, so I try to downplay it.

Bellamy's looking at the sky and for a second I wish I could read his thoughts.  
I realize I'm staring too much and just before I look away, we exchange glances and he looks back at the girl who just spoke, then back at me and then back up to the sky.  
After a couple seconds, he gets inside one of the tents with a couple more guys, one of them I recognize as Jones.

I turn to Octavia and all I have to do is raise my eyebrows for her to understand we need to go where that thing just dropped.

"Go get ready, I'll talk to Bellamy" Octavia says before getting inside the tent.

I do as she says, getting inside my tent and grabbing my jacket, putting my shoes on, after realizing I was still barefoot, and a knife with some sort of decorative handle Finn made for me with metal from the dropship a couple days ago. My abilities with the knife are pretty bad, to say the least. I haven't had any grounder encounter yet, thankfully, so I haven't really had to use it.  
When I'm done, I head to the tent where Octavia is waiting for me, where Bellamy, Jones and the others are reunited, and I get inside.

"We'll head out at first light, pass the word" Bellamy says right after I get inside and everyone leaves the tent except for Octavia, him and I.

Bellamy tries to get outside but Octavia gets on his way.

"Everyone from a hundred miles saw this thing come down" She says to him "What if the grounders get to it first?" she adds, turning to me as if looking for approval.

"Bellamy, we need to get there before some else does" I say, with a blank expression on my face, expecting him to realize I'm mad at him. "They could be sending us food, medical supplies, and we know we're not alone here" I add.

He looks at me, his expression drops for a second and he speaks again, this time looking at the ground.

"I said we wait till sunrise" he says, giving us one final stare and leaving the tent.

"I'm going; I don't care what he says" I say, looking at Octavia, not even being sure of the decision I'm taking.

"Jonathan, I know my brother, he's going and he's doing it now" she says with an overcoming look on his face.

"If you're right, then whatever there is in that thing, he wants it." I say, zipping up my jacket "And I'm not letting him have it"

"Let's go" She says, agreeing with me after staying quiet for a second and just looking at me, impressed for my change of attitude.

We get out of the tent and pretend to be walking around camp and talking while keeping an eye on Bellamy.

"So… what got you in lockup?" Octavia says, and she stops walking, resting her back on a tree and looking at me.

"I tried to steal an oxygen mask from medical for my mom… she was having an asthma attack" I answer, looking down and sitting on the ground next to her feet.

"Did you make it?" She says.

I stay silent, tilting my head back to look up at her and furrowing my eyebrows at her question.

"No, I mean… did she?" She speaks again, reformulating her question.

"No…" I say, looking back down to my feet. "I guess when you're living on a spatial Ark that's secretly running out of oxygen, you can't lose your time with asthmatic people" I add, taking a deep breath.

"I'm sorry" Octavia says, sitting down next to me. "I guess you know my story, don't you?"

"Yeah… it was pretty much of a big new when it happened…" I say, looking at her and deciding if it's proper to smile or not. "I was there… at the masquerade party?" I speak again.

"Really? Did you see me?" She says, excited.

"Nah, not really… I mean, how would I know? It was a masquerade party" I say, mocking at her. "But I saw Bellamy" I add, not sure why.

Octavia doesn't say anything and when I turn to look at her, I see her staring at me with a smile on her face.

"What?" I say, furrowing my eyebrows and smiling.

"You know what!"

My smile drops and I feel a wave of heat travel my body. I look away from her.

"Oh come one… it's kinda notable you know?" She speaks again, grabbing my shoulder.

"Can we not? Please?" I beg, noticing my face turning red.

"Fine…. Fine. Just go easy on you. Bellamy can be an asshole sometimes"

I say nothing, looking around camp with my eyes and sitting straight when my eyes catch someone leaving camp out the side door. Bellamy

"Hey!" I say, hitting Octavia's leg with my hand and pointing at the door when I get her attention. "He's leaving" I add. And in a blink of an eye, the two of us are standing up and heading to outside after Bellamy.

* * *

The sun starts going out. We're going after him and we're making sure he doesn't notice us at first, but once we get far enough from camp and Bellamy starts walking faster, we decide to take less care of where we step and don't mind being noisy.

We're basically running after Bellamy when Octavia decides to let him know we're following him, even though I'm pretty sure he already knows.

"Bellamy!" She says, and we keep running when he stops in his tracks. "What are you doing?"

"Go back to the camp, is isn't safe" he says, looking at the both of us while we reach him. Not looking surprised to see us, at all.

"You lied to everyone" Octavia says, heavy breathing. "You lied to me… You just want whatever is in that –"

"JUST GO HOME!" Bellamy cuts her off and pushes her, making her collide with me.

"Bellamy fuck off!" I'm stepping in front of Octavia now. "Whatever it is that you're hiding, you're not getting away with it" I say, stepping real close to him now and I can feel his breath accelerating and see his pupils getting bigger.

"You always wanna play the big brother, huh? Octavia starts talking from behind me, and gets closer to him, next to me. "Joke's on me, you're just a selfish dick" She adds, and I turn to look at her, pretty shocked by what she said, even though I can't say she's wrong.

"I did this for you! To protect you!" Bellamy says, stepping away from us and looking at her. "If the Ark find out we're alive, they'll come down and when they do, I'm dead".

My expression goes blank and I start stepping back, leaving Octavia and Bellamy in front of me, since I understand this is not a conversation I should part of.

"What did you do?" Octavia says, and I can notice her expression dropping by the tone of her voice.

"I shot him" Bellamy says, taking a second to inhale and I can tell he's shaking when the air comes altering out of his nose. "I shot Jaha" he adds.

I look away. I can't explain how I feel right now, I can't tell if I'm disappointed, mad, or just scared for whatever that will happen to him if they get down here. I turn and make a few steps away from them, raising both of my arms and resting my hands on top of my head, interlacing my fingers and taking a deep breath. I'm shaking and I try to calm down, telling to myself that I've nothing to do with it, and I shouldn't be this worried about Bellamy. He's... **a murderer.** NO.

I turn back to them.

"Someone came to me and told me to do it if I wanted to get inside the dropship with you" Bellamy says "I did it for you" he's falling apart.

"You killed the chancellor?" Octavia is stepping away from him, closer to me. "I didn't ask you to do that"

A few seconds pass until Bellamy speaks again with water in his eyes.

"You're right" He says and in a second his expression changes and he's back looking like tough Bellamy again. "I made my choice, this is on me... whatever they sent down, I'll take care of it"

I realize Octavia is in shock, her whole body is shaking and I'm getting closer to her when she speaks again.

"I didn't ask for any of this" her voice cracks. She turns to me, glancing at me for a second and starts walking back to camp.

I'm left alone with Bellamy and he's looking at me. I don't say anything, I just look at him trying to label what I'm feeling but I can't, so I start stepping back and then turn to go after Octavia, leaving him behind.

* * *

I try to process all the information in my head as I walk back to camp. I'm looking down to make sure I don't step on any roots and up from time to time just to check for acid fogs or be aware of any sort of mutant animal that may appear – yes, I've been pretty traumatized with that since Clarke told me Finn and her saw a two headed deer the day we got here –.

When I snap out of my thoughts, I realize I don't know where I'm going. I'm not following Octavia as I thought I was, she's nowhere to be seen. I'm alone.  
My heart starts accelerating and I hear someone moving around me, or maybe it's in my head, but I don't take chances and I start running.  
I'm looking around to see if I can find Octavia and at the same time, making sure I don't get speared by a grounder like Jasper did, according to what Clarke and him told me, and I make a mental note to remind myself not to listen to their stories anymore.  
After a few minutes of what feels like running in circles, I still can't find Octavia and I'm not even sure I can make it back to camp. My breathing is accelerating and the back of my neck starts pounding. I take a deep breath to calm myself, afraid that I might pass out if I keep running, so I take a second to recompose.

When I start thinking straight, around fifteen minutes later, I believe I recognize a couple of trees I've seen before behind camp. I follow my instinct and find one of the walls of what I now call home.  
I'm grinning like a mad person while walking next to the wall made of large wooden sticks and pieces of metal from the dropship until I get to the front access and start looking for Octavia, unable to stop and just ask anyone if she's here.  
I stop in my trails when the idea of her being out there just taking a walk, not lost at all, crosses my mind. But I start walking again, discarding that theory and following my instinct.  
I check her tent and she's not there, either is Bellamy so I head to the dropship and I find Jasper and Monty making some kind of bizarre joke about Well's fingers and they jump when they see coming in.

"You're sick" I say, trying to hide my smile and furrowing my eyebrows at them. "Have you seen Octavia around?" I speak again after getting closer to them.

"Nope" they say almost in unison "Not after this morning, but you were there too" Monty adds.

I nod and smile as a way to say thanks and I turn on my heels and leave the dropship.  
Once I'm out all I can think about is this is my fault, I should have payed attention to where she was going. I was right after her and now she's lost and Bellamy's gonna hate me and I care, I do care what he thinks of me. I need to f-

"Hey, Jonathan?" Someone says, interrupting my self-destructive thoughts.

I turn around to look at the person speaking to me and I put one of my hands on my forehead, blocking the sun hitting directly on my eyes so I'm able to see who it is. It's Jasper, he's standing outside the dropship, on its liftgate.

"Finn came around a while ago and took, like, four guys with him… I don't know what for but I thought this could help" he says.

"Oh, okay that's… actually helpful" I answer, trying to think what that could mean and putting my hands down, narrowing my eyes because of the sun.

"Is everything alright?" he speaks again.

"Yeah…" I lie. "Yeah everything's fine. Thanks Jasper" I lie again, and watch him get back inside the dropship after sticking his hands in his pockets.

Okay… if Finn came they probably know. Bellamy must have found out and went back into the woods to look for her and Finn – who is probably with Clarke too – came back to camp to get more people to help them, yeah, that makes sense… they already have it sorted out… **and all you could manage to do was get lost, you're so stupid Jonathan.**

I turn to head to the woods to find Bellamy and help them look for Octavia when I see him coming inside the camp, he's with the group of 'four' people Jasper told me about which ended up being around seven people. I go talk to him and I notice they're all carrying something that look like pieces of control panels, technology from the Ark, and small rockets that I imagine were inside the 'package' they sent down here.

"Bellam-" I star saying, but I get interrupted.

"John! I think you might want to see this" It's Finn, he's talking to me from outside the camp.

I head out and my confused expression softens when I see someone standing outside, talking to Clarke and even though I can't see her face, I recognize the red jacket and the reddish brown hair in a ponytail.  
But it can't be, it's not possible. I look back at Finn with a sickly appearance on my face, trying to find out if I'm hallucinating or its real, and my best friend is really standing there.  
Finn nods and when I look back, Clarke looks at me and the person talking to her turns to me. **Raven.**

I'm in shock, my mouth's in an 'O' shape and I only move to open my arms when I see her running towards me and collide with my body in a hug.

"You bastard, you made it!" She speaks, and I feel relieved when I hear her voice, proving me once again that everything is real, and she's standing right in front of me, holding both of my hands.

"H-How…" I begin to say, and I can't stop grinning like an idiot.

"An old Escape Pod… and a really talented mechanic" She says, with a cocky tone in her voice.  
I roll my eyes at her.

"You came down here in a one hundred years old metal coffin?" I say, rising my eyebrows. "You're fucking insane" I say and we're back hugging, burying our faces in each other's necks.

"Okay you can talk later, let's get the rocket show started" Finn says, pushing us inside the camp. And updating me with the new 'Ark-Contacting' plan as we go.

* * *

 **"For My Help" by Hayden Calnin**

* * *

After a couple minutes it's all settled up, the three rocket flares are ready and we get the big logs in place, tied together into some kind of tripod to aim the rockets to the sky.  
To be honest, I don't really care if this works or not. I already have, down here, the closest thing I've had to a family since my mom died.

A while later, people start getting the panels connected to fire the flares into the space.  
It's all ready, we're standing there, all together, Raven to my right, followed by Finn and Clarke to my left. The rockets are fired and we all look at them going up in the sky.

"Do you think they can see it from up there?" Bellamy says, and I realize he's standing next to me now. But I keep my eyes on the dark sky.

"I don't know; I hope so…" Clarke says.

"Can you wish on this kind of shooting star?" I say, not specifying who I'm talking to and still looking up.

"I wouldn't even know what to wish for…" Bellamy says, looking at me and then back up to the sky "What about you?" he adds.

I don't answer. I look at Clarke instead and I see her staring at Finn and Raven, realizing what is going on there, I purse my lips and also look at Raven, who's now looking back at us with a smile on her face.

"I'm with my family now" I finally answer, almost whispering. "I've nothing to wh-" I stop talking and look down to my feet, as if people could read my mind, when I suddenly remember what I was up to right before Raven got here.

My heart starts beating fast and it feels as if it was about to pop out of my chest, my hands start sweating and the back of my neck catches on fire.  
I feel the adrenaline traveling around my body and I speak, almost unconsciously.

"Octavia" I say in a gasp while looking up and turning to Bellamy, who's now looking at me with a dead serious expression on his face.

* * *

 **Notes:**

Hope you enjoyed :) x


	5. His sister's keeper

**John's POV**

After all the rockets flares were launched into space, everybody started getting to their tents or distributed around camp.

"I was coming back here after leaving you in the woods and I thought she might be here already but neither Jasper or Monty had seen her" I say to Bellamy, moving my hands while talking and getting more and more desperate.

"She was mad at me, maybe she's in her tent, go check it out" Bellamy says with a worried look on his face "I'll ask people if they've seen her" he adds before leaving.

I go straight to her tent as Bellamy says and I find nothing. I don't even call for her before getting inside because I know she's not there. She's out there, lost… or worst. And it's my fault.

I get back to Bellamy and I see him checking other tents.

"HEY!" Someone says as he opens the person's tent. It's not Octavia, so he swings the piece of fabric back to its original position, closing the tents door.

"Nothing, she's not there" I say, looking at him as he stands up and starts walking with me to the next tent.

"I have to go find her" He says. And I think I see his eyes watering when he switches the torch he's holding to his other hand.

"Let's ask Clarke, she was out in the woods. Maybe she saw something" I say, realizing that's really less likely and I look away from him when I notice his eyes.

We get to Clarke's and crouch in front of the opened tent.

"Are you up?" Bellamy says, getting the torch almost too close to the tent.

I see Clarke sitting on her bed, and she stands up to get outside after Bellamy speaks.

"Yeah" She says while coming outside the tent, so we stand up.  
"Knowing that hundreds of people might be dying on the Ark makes it pretty hard to sleep" She adds. Standing now in front of us.

I give her an eye roll but I look away so she can't see it.  
Raven told us about the three hundred people they're gonna sacrifice on the Ark to save air and gain more time to find out how we're doing down here. She said sending the Scape Pod down to earth was Clarke's mom – Abigail – idea and that she was supposed to come with her but Marcus Kane, one of the Council's members, found out and tried to stop them, so Abigail managed to get Raven some time she could use to at least lunch the Pod and come here alone.

"Rave's flares will work" Bellamy says, giving me a glare for some reason.

"Her radio would have worked better" Clarke answers.

I realize I'm furrowing my eyebrows when Clarke looks at me narrowing her eyes.

"What are you…" I start saying in my head. But I wipe that thought out of my mind when I remember what we're here for.

"Have you seen Octavia?" I speak, this time out loud. And I see Clarke looking at Bellamy as if checking if the question also comes from him.

"No" She says "It's Octavia, she's probably… chasing butterflies o-"

"Clarke, we checked the camp, she's not here" Bellamy starts talking before she can go on with her sarcasm.

"She was out there with me and Bellamy and we thought she was coming back here but apparently she never made it back" I say, trying to make her take this seriously.

Clarke's expression drops. "Ok, I'll help you find her" She says and the three of us start walking.

"Let's check again. You go to the dropship" She says, pointing at me and Bellamy. "I'll take the rest of the tents"

"Thank you" Bellamy says to her almost whispering.

"Don't say thanks, I'm not doing this for you. It's for Octavia" Clarke answers before we split up.

As I walk to the Dropship with Bellamy, I think about the radio Clarke was just talking about and try to think if the wristbands have something to do with it. But I decide to worry about that later.

We get inside the Dropship and I'm about to head to the second floor and check there but Bellamy gets my arm and pulls me back to him.

"Listen, I want you to stay here" He says

"No way, I'm g-"

"Jonathan, I need you to be here if she comes back, I trust you" She says, cutting me off. And I realize his hand is now on my neck, and for some reason I get shiver all over my body and I feel my cheeks catching fire.

"Ok…" Is all I manage to say. And I can't stop looking at Bellamy in the eyes.

Bellamy is smiling but when I move my head and look at his hand which is still holding my neck and shoulder, his smile drops and I notice his awkwardness. For the first time.  
I feel amused by the way he seems to be so tender around me sometimes but so rough and cold around other people, and I can't tell if I should feel flattered or what.

"I know she's not here" He says, looking around. And I purse my lips agreeing with him.

"Let's go".

We head outside the Dropship to find Clarke and a group of people, apparently gathered by her, forming a circle and ready to go look for Octavia.

I walk with Bellamy straight inside the group of people and I notice I've been smiling this whole time when he speaks and I feel my smile dropping.

"Listen everybody" He says, putting his arms up. "Gather around, grab a weapon" he adds while crouching to unfold a bag full of handmade weapons next to my feet.

"My sister's been out there alone for twelve hours" he speaks again as he stands up. "Arm up, we're not coming back without her" he says, and tender Bellamy's far gone by now.

People start arming up, as Bellamy commanded, and move away from the bad to let others get a weapon when I see Jasper crouching to get one too, which I find weird since he's been struggling with going out of camp since he got attacked.

"Jas, are you sure about that?" I say, pointing at the weapon he's holding and he turns to be with a traumatized expression on his face.

After I speak, Clarke turns to us from behind Jasper's back, noticing what's going on, and I glance at her and back at Jasper.

"Jasper, you don't have to do this" She says, getting closer to hold his shoulder.

"You haven't left camp since they brought you back" I continue talking.

"Guys, I need to do this" Jasper answers, nodding to us.

"We need all the people we can get" Bellamy speaks from behind us, and Clarke and I turn to him.

None of us say anything, Bellamy's standing there, arms crossed and Clarke looks back at Jasper giving him a look of approval.

"Okay" I whisper to him, giving him a pat on his shoulder.

I understand why Jasper want to go out there, its Octavia the one we're talking about. Monty told me they kissed the other day inside the Dropship… he didn't give me much detail but a kiss is a kiss.

I snap out of my thoughts when Bellamy shouts calling for Finn.

"Finn! Get out here"

"I'll go get him" I say, looking at Bellamy and smiling goodbye.

When I turn to leave and walk past Clarke, I see her looking at Bellamy and then back at me and smiling, and I recognize it's the I-just-saw-what-happened kind of smile. My cheeks burn and I quicken my step towards Finn's tent.

"What did you wanna talk about?" Raven's saying when I get inside.

"Hello…" I say, stopping in my tracks and frowning at them when I see Raven giving Finn a haircut. "I have an appointment today; I'll go blonde" I joke.

"Shut up, dumbass" Raven says, grinning at me.

I look at Finn and I see him smiling and looking up at Raven

"Nothing, it can wait" he says.

"Do you guys want me to leave? Bellamy's leaving, that's what I came to say" I say, pointing to the exit or the tent with my thumb over my shoulder.

"No, stay" Raven says, putting the scissors away and pointing to Finn's hair "What do you think?"

"It's actually not bad at all" I say, furrowing my eyebrows and looking at Finn.

I sit down and pretend I'm tighten my shoe laces they start kissing, feeling awkward for being there, and we all startle when we hear Bellamy calling from the outside.

"Finn, we're leaving" he says.

"I'm coming" Finn answers and gets out the tent, leaving me and Raven inside.

Raven sits on Finn's seat and keeps his eyes on the tent's door, exhaling. I believe I see her eyes watering so I speak

"Is everything alright?" I say, moving my seat, which is actually a large piece of log, closer to hers.

"I'd like to say yes… but I honestly don't know" She says, and I immediately know she's talking about Finn and Clarke.

"Listen, before you take any rushed decis-" I start saying, but I stop when I hear someone from outside the tent speaking. And Raven and I stand up.

"Guys, guys! Here!"

We get out and head to the crowd, for a second I think maybe Octavia is back, but I discard that theory when I see everybody's looking up to the sky, and I do the same.

"Look up there" Someone says from the crowd.

We're all looking up now. We can see how the dark night sky starts being filled with what looks like a million stars. But these starts aren't static like the other ones… these starts are falling and burning into the atmosphere, disappearing and turning into dust.

"It's beautiful" someone says, sounding amazed.

"They didn't work" Clarke says from in front of me.

"They didn't see the flares" Raven speaks, stepping forward to stand right next to me.

"A meteors shower tells you that?" Some of us look down to the one who said that, Bellamy.

"It's not a meteor shower, it's a funeral" Clarke says, still looking up. "Hundreds of bodies being returned to the earth from the Ark… this is how it looks from the other side" She adds, and her voice cracks.

"They didn't get the message" She speaks again after a short pause, and looks back to Raven and I.

Raven's expression changes from sad to angry and I realize what's gonna happen when it's already too late to do something about it.

"THIS IS ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!" She says, walking past Clarke and heading to Bellamy. But Finn gets her and pulls her back to us before she does.

"I helped you find the radio" Bellamy says, with a defensive tone on his voice and pointing at her with his finger.

 **The radio?**

"Yeah! After you jacked it from my Pod and trashed it!" Raven speaks, while trying to get back to Bellamy but not being able to because of Clarke, Finn and I, holding her.

"Yeah, he knows…" Clarke speaks, calming her down. "Now he has to live with it" she adds.

I'm putting the pieces together and I understand now. Why Clarke was so mad at Bellamy, what took Bellamy so long to get back to camp after Octavia and I left him in the woods.  
I'm looking at him and he's looking at me, noticing I know he lied to me and Octavia again. I feel the back of my neck catch on fire and pounding like an open wound, I can't help the adrenaline rush and my feet start walking past Clarke and Raven and towards Bellamy, stepping in front of him in the middle of the circle of people, not minding everybody looking at me.

"A radio, huh?" I start saying, in almost a whisper. "Is this your definition of 'taking care'?" I speak again, this time out loud, looking straight into his eyes and feeling mines watering. Not being able to control my anger.

He says nothing, stepping back with a look of shame on his face and looking away from me.

"Well…" I start saying, with a sarcastic smile on my face and furrowing my eyebrows. "Then I guess Octavia was right. You're nothing but a selfish dick" I say, before turning away, leaving the group and heading to my tent.

When I get inside my tent I try to calm down, realizing that I'm cursing under my breath so I lay down on my bed.  
I'm mad at Bellamy for lying to me. At this point, I'm not even sure if he was actually asking me to stay here 'just in case Octavia comes back', or if he was just trying to avoid me from finding out about the radio or another of his lies. I've been trying to trust him and prove people that Bellamy has a good side and he's just trying to do what he thinks is better for us. Turns out I'm wrong, and all he cares about is his own good.

"Hey, Johno" Someone says from the outside.

I sit on my bed, recognizing the voice of the person who's now inside the tent.

"Raven, don't call me that" I say, sounding listless and standing up.

"Are you okay?" She says, sitting on my bed next to me. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Yeah, no I'm fine" I say, looking at her and faking a smile "I need to distract myself now, please" I add, standing up.

"Come on, we're going to some 'Art supply shop' place to get something with can make a radio with" She says, standing up too and grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the tent.

"What art supply store are you talking about?" I say, trying not to fall after the sudden movement.

"The Bunker, Jonathan" Clarke speaks from behind us, so we turn to her at unison.

"Oh" I say, and three of us start walking towards the exit.

* * *

We're walking in the woods now and from time to time I can see Bellamy's group walking around the trees with their torches, giving him a mental eye-roll.

"So what was that Bellamy situation? Clarke asks, making me turn to her while we walk.

For a moment I remain silent, trying to decide in which order I want to explain what happened, and what I want to omit.

"When he went out to get the radio…" I start talking quietly, after taking a deep breath, as if Bellamy could hear me. "Octavia and I followed him and found out his real intentions… but I was stupid enough to believe he wasn't gonna do anything bad" I finish.

"Well you were wrong, dumbass" Raven says, and I hit her with my elbow.

"It's…" I speak again, trying to decide if I should tell them about Bellamy shooting Chancellor Jaha, but for some reason I decide against it. "It's my fault, I guess" I finish.

"It's not, John" Clarke says. And I raise my eyebrows, surprised by the fact that she just called me 'John', since Finn and Raven are the only ones who call me that.

"You trusted him, and it's okay… it's on him" She speaks again.

I try to think of an answer, analyzing her theory over and over in my head until too much time passes to answer, so I just don't.

We keep walking for a while, the sun is slowly coming out now and the sunlight bathes the forest, penetrating the tall trees and creating large rays of light that go from the top of the trees, through the brunches, and to the cold ground. All the flowers and vegetation in general start to glow, reflecting the sunlight due to the morning dew all over them.

"They're so beautiful" Raven says, causing me and Clarke to turn to her, and we see her grabbing a bright orange flower from the ground.

"Raven, I know you just got here yesterday, but we don't have time for this" Clarke says, turning to keep walking. "Come on" she adds.

"Don't be the heartless bitch, Clarke" I say after quickening my step to get next to her.

She gives me an eye-roll and a smile and just keeps walking.

"Hurry up and save the world" Raven speaks from behind us. "You're just like your mom" she adds.

I turn to check on her and see her running to reach us.

"I'm nothing like my mom" Clarke answers, pretty seriously.

"Relax, that's a compliment" Raven answers, "Abby's a badass".

I remember what Finn said about Clarke trying to 'punish her mother' to 'making her feel what she felt' and I immediately understand Clarke's attitude, glancing at her to study her expressions.

"The Pod was her idea… It broke her heart not to be able to come down with me" Raven speaks again, after a short silence. "But she never stopped believing you were alive"

"Yeah… Mother of the year" Clarke answers, sarcastically.

I try to give Raven a stop-talking-about-that kind of look but she isn't looking at me so she never notices and speaks again.

"Well my mom was absent almost all my life… When she'd show up, was empty handed" She says. "I'm pretty sure she had me just to trade my rations for moonshine"

I'm walking next to her and Clarke's in front of us, leading the way. After Raven stops talking I hold her hand, having a flashback of all we went through up on the Ark.

When we were kids, Raven's mother used to, as she said, exchange her rations for moonshine, letting her starve without guilt. She was an alcoholic and never really took care of Raven. When I met her, she had stolen some moonshine from her mom and was trying to trade it back for some food. From that moment, we became friends and with time, family. I always shared my rations with her, then we met Finn and… well, you know the rest of the story.

"How did you survive?" Clarke asks, crouching to reach the Bunker's hatch from the floor and removing the leaves from top of it.

"My two neighbors" She says, smiling and looking at me. "Finn and this little guy right here" She adds, squeezing my hand.

"They shared their rations, remembered my birthday… saved my life" She speaks again, looking down at Clarke. "They're my family"

Clarke open's the hatch, not saying a word, and the three of us climb down inside the Bunker.  
She takes three flashlights and gives us one each. For a second I wonder where these came from, since the last time we were here, with charlotte, we had none.

"Were these here before?" I say, raising the flashlight and showing it to Clarke so she knows what I'm talking about.

She remains silent and paralyzes for a second. I feel the awkwardness of the situation so I turn to Raven and change the subject.

"So what are we exactly looking for?" I say, sticking my free hand inside my pants pocket.

She's looking at the whole place, amazed by every detail just like I was the first time I got here.

"How did you find this place?" She says.

"We didn't… Finn found it" Clarke answers, and I turn to her to see she's got a box full of stuff and is going through it, looking for something raven can used to make the radio.

"John we need to find a transmitter" Clarke says, looking at me, away from the box.

"Anything that could produce radio frequencies… usually it'd have an antenna" Raven adds, turning to us.

I start walking to Clarke's box to help her find something when she pulls out a toy car.

"Hey, will this work?" She says, giving it to me and I show it to Raven.

"Sweet" She says, taking it from my hands. "R.F. Radiofrequency" she adds, looking at us and putting the toy down. "If we can just find the controller… we'll be golden"

"Alright" I say while getting back to looking, next to Clarke.

We put the box away, after not finding anything new, and Clarke start looking in another one. I go to one of the shelves behind me, instead, checking it with my eyes and l pointing the flashlight at it.

"Finn made this" Raven says, and I turn around to look at her.

"Huh?" Clarke says from the other side of the room.

Raven shows her what she's talking about, and I see it from my spot. It's one of Finn's handmade figures he usually makes with any kind of material he can get.  
She's now smiling and pointing at it with her flashlight while rotating it, as if she was studying the piece of metal.

"Oh… yeah" Clarke says, going back to the searching. So do I.

"We saw this two-headed deer our first day on the ground…" She continues. Reminding me to Trina and Pascal, so I stop going through the box I'm searching in now, and look at her.

"Welcome to paradise, right?" Clarke says, finishing her sentence.

I glance at Raven and I see her holding the deer and her pendant, which is a raven also made with metal by Finn, except he made Raven's as an adjustable necklace she's been wearing since he gave it to her on one of her birthdays. It's pretty similar to the one I have, but mine's a giraffe -my favorite animal from before the nuclear apocalypse- and Finn made it for me as a way to say sorry that time he accidently hit me with a dart and I thought I was gonna bleed to death.

"I got it!" Clarke says, making me and Raven snap out of our thoughts and the both of us stand up and head to her.

Raven gets next to Clarke before I do, and I see Clarke looking at the deer she's still holding on her hand, taking it and putting it on the table, looking back at Raven and handing her the remote she just found.

I take a deep breath, trying to wipe any controversial thoughts and go stand next to them while Raven starts opening up the remote to get what she needs.

"Finn always does that" She speaks, smiling. "Find the beauty on the unexpected" she adds after a few seconds, struggling to open it so her voice cracks at the end.

"Ready to go?" Clarke says, when Raven finally takes the frontal part of the control off.

"Hurry up and save the world, alright?" Raven answers, and I think I notice a passive aggressive tone in her voice

Silence. I feel my knees shaking, hatting the idea of this confrontation as if I was guilty for it happening. For Clarke and Finn happening, because by now, I'm sure it did.

"Yeah" Raven breaks the silence. "We're good"

"Oka-"

"Fine let's get out of here please" I say quickly, cutting Clarke off and heading to the stairs, followed by the two girls.

We barely speak on our way back to camp, from time to time, it's Clarke the one who tries to start a conversation and me trying to pretend nothing is wrong and answering or talking about random things.  
At one point we have to start running because we hear grounders blowing a horn, which means the acid fog is coming, according to Clarke, so we just run the rest of the way back.

When we arrive, Raven goes straight to the Dropship to start working on the radio and I go after her. Clarke, on the other hand, heads to her tent to do something she tells us about but I can't hear because she gets me off guard.

Raven sits down and starts pealing the wires she got from inside the remote. I'm sitting next to her, studying her expression and wishing I was wrong, but I'm not. I know what's happening and I have to talk about it with her. So I speak

"Can we talk for a sec-"

"They screwed" Raven says, cutting me off, without taking her eyes away from the wires.

"I don't know that, neither do you." I say, looking at her serious face. "Raven you can't just assume things; you know Finn wouldn't do that" I lie.

She's drops the wires and faces me.

"Prove it" She says, and I can see her eyes watering.

A few seconds pass and I'm about to speak again when I hear someone moving between the fabrics that cover the Dropship's entrance. Clarke gets inside.

"How's it coming?" Clarke says, gasping and walking closer to us with a smile.

The radio starts doing static sounds and I look at Raven expecting her to answer to Clarke. But she ignores her, and I look away.

"Are you… alright?" Clarke speaks, sounding exhausted "You hardly said a word the whole way back from the Bunker"

Raven remains silent for way to long so I turn back to her to give her a scolding look. She sees me from the corner of her eyes and drops the radio, letting it fall on the table, standing up and turning to face Clarke, who is still standing there. Raven lifts her hand to show her the deer 'sculpture' she took back from the Bunker. She says nothing, just stares at Clarke, holding the deer. And I just sit there, watching it happen.

Clarke opens her mouth to speak, but nothing comes out of it.

"…Raven le-" Clarke starts talking in a gasp.

"Tell me I'm wrong…" Raven cuts her off, making little movements with her hand, holding the deer and keeping her eyes glued to Clarke's. "Tell me Finn didn't make this for you" her voice trembles.

I stand up and I try to head outside but Raven grabs my arm and gives me a dead look. So I sit back down without arguing.

"Tell me you weren't screwing my boyfriend as I was risking my ass to come down here!" Raven speaks again, and I notice the veins on her neck, which always pop out of her skin when she's angry.

Clarke's looking at her, with water in her eyes and not being able to say a word.

"I can't tell you that" She says, almost whispering.

Raven expression falls, and so does her hand with the deer on it. She steps closer to Clarke and for a second I think about stopping her but she speaks.

"He made one for me too… Just in case you thought you were special" She says, showing Clarke her raven collar, and turning back to the radio.

"Do you think I wanted this?" Clarke speaks, sounding like she's about to cry. "I didn't even know you existed" She adds. And I'm looking at my feet now, wishing I could become invisible and scape from this situation.

"Because as far as he knew, you were dead, Raven" Clarke speaks again, and I believe Raven's back facing her because of the position of her feet. "Or you would have been soon enough… my mom too, and everyone we ever knew on the Ark and th… there was nothing we could do to stop it"

"He could have waited more than ten days…" Raven answers after a few seconds and sits back down on the seat.

I look up at Clarke and nod at her, letting her know it'll be okay and I'll speak to Raven later, so she turns to leave, but before she gets outside Raven speaks again.

"Do you love'im?" She says.

I look at Clarke and she stops in her tracks and turns back to us. "I barely knew him" She answers, turning to leave.

A while passes until I speak again. This is how it works with Raven… every time she gets mad, she gets out of it by herself. She's not the catharsis-dependent kind of girl.

"You can't blame it on her, Rave" I say, hugging her with one hand while still sited next to her.

She doesn't say anything, she simply sits straight, wipes her tears off her face and gets back to work with the radio.

* * *

"Jonathan, wake up!" I hear Raven scream, making me jump.

I put my head up and out the cavity I created with my arms to cover from the light.  
I had fallen asleep while Raven worked on the Radio but now, thanks to her yelling at me and shaking my soul out, I'm awake.

"What is it?" I say, still sleepy and rubbing my eyes.

"It's Octavia" She says, pulling me to stand up. "Come on" She adds, and gets out the Dropship.

I fully wake up the second I hear her say 'Octavia' and I run after her, stumbling a little when I start walking.

When we reach the group of people surrounding the entrance of the camp, I see Clarke with Octavia and I'm about to go greet her with a smile on my face when I hear raven say something in a gasp, so I look at Bellamy.

"Finn. Finn?!" Clarke says, running towards Bellamy who's holding him in his arms.

Raven and I run to them and I see Finn with a knife stuck on his rib cab. My head's pounding and I feel dizzy.

"Oh my god, oh god" Clarke. About to cry.

"Oh god" Raven, stepping back.

"Clarke is he…" I start saying after snapping out of my paralysis.

"Bellamy didn't let me take the knife out" Jasper says, coming from behind.

"No, that was a good call" Clarke answers, and I look at Bellamy. "Get him in the Dropship, GO!" she adds.

And I move away so the two people carrying Finn can pass through. I stay there, trying to wake up from what I wish was just a really bad nightmare.  
I feel someone grabbing my hand and I turn to my left to see Raven, looking over the way they took Finn in shock.

"Clarke, can you save him?!" Raven asks her, sounding desperate.

"No, I.. do… not me, I need my mother" Clarke says, freaking out. "I need to talk to her"

"There's still no radio" Raven answers, letting my hand go and grabbing her head.

"Raven" Clarke says, relaxing her face "Fix it. Go!"

Raven looks at me and then starts running to the Dropship to take care of the radio. I understand her glare and I start walking after her, stopping in my tracks when I see Octavia, with her face full of dirt and blood, and before I can react, she runs to me and we're hugging.

"Don't fucking do that ever again" I say, my voice, my body and maybe even my soul are shaking. "We'll talk later" I add, looking at her nod and I turn and run to the dropship.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading! x**


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